The second time I couch surfed was when I moved to Melbourne. After countless agonizing hours of searching online for housing options in Melbourne, I knew that the only way I could find a suitable accommodation was to physically inspect the rooms and apartments that appealed to me on the internet. When I was at such a geographical disadvantage to make the best decision about where to live, the only thing I could really do was to wait until I got to Melbourne and take a week to search for housing. Once again, I turned to Couch Surfing to lend me a hand during my first week to get my bearings. After couch requesting about 12 different people, only one got back to me. This however, worked out in my favor as my hosts were some of the most wonderful people I have met in Melbourne. Located in the trendy Brunswick suburb, my hosts were an Australian, two poms (Aussie lingo for the British), and an affable black lab named Archie. They instantly made me feel welcome and were so helpful and attentive to my needs. There is nothing I can say that would do these people justice. From the moment I stepped into their house, I was treated not as a guest, but a friend. We spent the first night talking and laughing until 2:00 A.M. They had a great pullout couch which I slept on, sometimes accompanied by the affectionate Archie (an excellent cuddler). It was with them that I had my first passionfruit and made my first friends in Melbourne. Their kindness and generosity was almost overwhelming; the fact that people like them exist gives me so much faith in humanity and proves that there are indeed angels living among us. My hosts didn't just let me into their home, they let me into their lives. Since I found my own place to live, they haven't stopped taking care of me. They have introduced me to their friends, invited me to social gatherings, and have been there when I needed friends. The Couch Surfing community thrives on these types of individuals; people who are trustworthy, honest, kind, and respectful.
I think it is safe to say that 99% of those involved in Couch Surfing are sincere people who genuinely want to help out other travelers. However, it is important to keep in mind the remaining one percent who tarnish the name of Couch Surfing and pose a threat to the otherwise honest and trustworthy community. Unfortunately, on New Year's weekend I had the hapless experience of crossing paths with this minority.
On the Friday before the new year, I came across a posting on the Couch Surfing website from a guy named Mathias, a 21 year old ANU student from Prague, who was going to be in Melbourne for the weekend and wanted to know if he could go to any New Year's Eve parties with anyone. Seeing that nobody had responded, I felt sorry for him and decided to shoot him a text message saying that he could come with me to a party that one of the other Couch Surfers in Melbourne was throwing. I checked out his profile before contacting him, which showed that he had no friends or references. This should have raised a red flag, but I thought that he was just new to Couch Surfing and hadn't gotten the chance to make friends or references yet. Since it is a trust based community, I decided to trust that this guy was a decent human being.
After I texted him, Mathias called me to say that he was just arriving in the city and asked if he could stay with me. The room I happen to rent is just that: a room. It's situated above an Indian restaurant and aside from a communal kitchen and bathroom, doesn't really have space for guests. When I told him that I didn't think he would be comfortable staying with me, which was my polite way of declining his request, he persisted and said he didn't mind sleeping on the floor. Otherwise, he would probably just sleep in his car. Understanding how difficult it can be to come to a new city and not have anyone to stay with, and not wanting him to sleep in his car of all places, I let him stay with me for the weekend. Most couch surfers are good people, and I thought the chances of him being a bad guy were slim. He seemed nice enough; he was very friendly, energetic, spontaneous, and seemed excited to be in Melbourne. During the first 30 minutes that he arrived, he managed to make friends with my neighbors from the adjoining restaurant. One could even say that he was almost excessively charming. He even offered to drive me to Canberra after New Year's, where he lived, and take the Great Ocean Road so I could experience the beautiful scenery. He also seemed to be financially well off. During the time we spent together, he would talk about how much money he made playing high stakes poker online with a "you win some, you lose some attitude. "It's easy," he said. "I can make 20K in a night, no problem." When I mentioned how risky it must be to gamble as much as he claimed to, he shrugged it off and said that he was the kind of person who didn't mind taking big risks in order to get a big payoff. He later told me about how much he invested with various companies like Woolworth's and even showed me his stocks portfolio from his iPhone. The more we spoke, the more I could see how arrogant this guy was. Apart from bragging about how much money he made from investing, playing poker, and being a DJ, the way he talked about women was slightly disturbing and made me feel a bit uncomfortable. He boasted to me about how many women he was with, saying that he had more than a few girlfriends who thought that they were exclusive. When I expressed my opinion that he was being manipulative, deceitful, and unfair to these girls, he yet again shrugged my comment off. "I love women," he said, "and I can't choose between them because I like them all!"
After barely two days of spending time with Mathias, I began to get annoyed. But more than that, I sensed a negative feeling in my gut about him and multiple red flags went up in my head. I brushed this aside however, especially as he hadn't done anything to make me not trust him.
On New Year's Eve, we went to a party hosted by members of the Couch Surfing community. They had a stunning apartment, complete with a gorgeous rooftop from where we had a great view of the city and New Year's fireworks. I couldn't help but think how kind and generous it was for them to open their beautiful home to a bunch of strangers, and once again exemplified how wonderful the Couch Surfing community is. A couple hours after midnight, I became tired and wanted to go home. Mathias, on the other hand, still had tons of energy and wanted to stay out later. So, I told him that I would leave the door unlocked and that he could come home whenever he wanted. He came back at around 6:00 A.M and promptly passed out on my floor. A few hours later, I received a call from the hostess of the party about him, with news that no host would ever want to hear about their guest. Apparently, after I had left, Mathias had made some inappropriate jokes about stealing someone's camera. The camera owner became paranoid and after these comments were made, kept his camera by his side for the rest of the night. However, he ended up passing out on the couch with his camera right next to him, and when he woke up it was no longer there. All signs pointed to Mathias: he had already made comments about stealing it, and he was also the last person to leave the party. I checked to see if the camera was in any of his bags, but there was nothing. So the only other place it could have been was his car, which was locked. The whole time, I was praying that it was just a simple misunderstanding and that they would find it in their apartment, but a sinking feeling in my stomach told me that it was probably Mathias. The hostess asked if she and the camera owner could come over and have a look through his car, which I happily obliged to. When I told Mathias what was going on, he laughed and said he couldn't believe that they were accusing him of this. "I was so awesome there," he proclaimed, "I totally made their party. Did you see me? I was helping out, talking to people, grilling food, serving drinks, and I even cleaned their kitchen after!"
An hour later, the party hosts and camera owner came by. Mathias let them look through the body of his car, but the trunk was left unopened. When they asked to look in the trunk, Mathias began to stall. He tried to distract them with stories about how he built his car, how his trunk for some reason would not open (when I had seen him open it the previous day), and that it might be broken. He continued this way for about an hour, when we finally decided to get the police involved. Then suddenly, he was magically able to open it and sure enough, the stolen camera, which was valued at about $800, was sitting inside. Needless to say, we had him arrested and the camera owner pressed charges. Another thing that went missing during Mathias's stay was my landlord's smartphone, which was never found.
The next day, after I thought this nightmare was over, I received texts from Mathias saying that while he was at the police station, someone broke into his car, let down two of his tires, and stole some of his things. He threatened multiple times to put me down as a suspect and proclaimed that "things just got serious". I had been very calm throughout this entire ordeal, but this sent me over the edge and I called the police again, crying. Fortunately, they were helpful and had Mathias stop contacting me all together.
I was a bit of a mess during the first few days of 2012. I felt on edge and paranoid, and had trouble sleeping for a couple of days; for some reason I expected him to come back and do something horrible to me. Mathias has tainted what was up until now, an excellent first month in Australia. It's almost even as if he cast a shadow over certain places in Melbourne. More than the fact that he stole and lied was how utterly violated I felt after the situation had passed. This man slept under the same roof and in the same room as me. His blatant disregard for how his actions affected other people left me feeling frightened. All I wanted to do was show someone else the same kindness that I have received through Couch Surfing, and not only did he disregard and disrespect the community of trust that is so heavily relied on, he hurt many people in the process. And the worst thing? He didn't even seem to care or feel any type of shame or guilt following this incident. I can't even begin to imagine how the hosts of the New Year's party felt, or the poor guy who had his expensive camera stolen.
After giving it much thought, I feel that Mathias displayed behavior characteristic of sociopaths:
The chances that anyone would receive a guest as horrible as Mathias is slim, and I think I just had bad luck. As traumatizing as this experience was for me, I don't want to write off couch surfing completely. Like I said before, I have had some wonderful experiences couch surfing and will most likely continue to participate in the future. However, for the time being I will not accept guests to stay with me. This is mostly because of the small size of my living space, and after the whole Mathias fiasco I'm sure that my landlords won't be too keen on having any future guests. If I move into a bigger place later on, like say a share house, I would be more than happy to have couch surfers stay over. I love the idea behind couch surfing and still want to reciprocate the kindness that people have shown me. Plus, the chances that I get a lunatic next time are still pretty slim. I know people who have hosted dozens of times and never had a bad experience with their guests.
In the future, I will be much more careful and selective with who I accept. This whole ordeal has made me realize what little thought I give to my safety and how I need to exercise more caution in the future. I am very trusting and like to believe the best in people, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
The aftermath of Hurricane Mathias has been shaky, but is getting better each day. I still feel a bit nervous when I'm alone in my room, and become tense when I see someone who resembles him or a vehicle that resembles his car, but overall I'm doing okay, although I am surprised at the impact this whole situation has had on me. I've been lucky enough to be around a lot of kind people; my old hosts kept me company the day after the arrest, and distracted me with day at the beautiful St. Kilda beach and good company. They even let me spend the night with them again.
If you want to host couch surfers, it's important to take into consideration the number of friends and references a person has, as well as whether or not they have been verified. I have only been part of Couch Surfing since May, so my friends and references are limited, but I'm working on getting more by attending Couch Surfing events and meeting up with travelers for coffee. In February, I'm expecting to play tour guide to an American soldier who will be on a two week leave from Afghanistan. I am really looking forward to this and am eager to do more of the same thing with other couch surfers.
As for Mathias, he currently has three negative reviews on his profile to warn others about him, and once I get a copy of the police report, I will send it to Couch Surfing so that they may be able to remove his profile permanently.
After I texted him, Mathias called me to say that he was just arriving in the city and asked if he could stay with me. The room I happen to rent is just that: a room. It's situated above an Indian restaurant and aside from a communal kitchen and bathroom, doesn't really have space for guests. When I told him that I didn't think he would be comfortable staying with me, which was my polite way of declining his request, he persisted and said he didn't mind sleeping on the floor. Otherwise, he would probably just sleep in his car. Understanding how difficult it can be to come to a new city and not have anyone to stay with, and not wanting him to sleep in his car of all places, I let him stay with me for the weekend. Most couch surfers are good people, and I thought the chances of him being a bad guy were slim. He seemed nice enough; he was very friendly, energetic, spontaneous, and seemed excited to be in Melbourne. During the first 30 minutes that he arrived, he managed to make friends with my neighbors from the adjoining restaurant. One could even say that he was almost excessively charming. He even offered to drive me to Canberra after New Year's, where he lived, and take the Great Ocean Road so I could experience the beautiful scenery. He also seemed to be financially well off. During the time we spent together, he would talk about how much money he made playing high stakes poker online with a "you win some, you lose some attitude. "It's easy," he said. "I can make 20K in a night, no problem." When I mentioned how risky it must be to gamble as much as he claimed to, he shrugged it off and said that he was the kind of person who didn't mind taking big risks in order to get a big payoff. He later told me about how much he invested with various companies like Woolworth's and even showed me his stocks portfolio from his iPhone. The more we spoke, the more I could see how arrogant this guy was. Apart from bragging about how much money he made from investing, playing poker, and being a DJ, the way he talked about women was slightly disturbing and made me feel a bit uncomfortable. He boasted to me about how many women he was with, saying that he had more than a few girlfriends who thought that they were exclusive. When I expressed my opinion that he was being manipulative, deceitful, and unfair to these girls, he yet again shrugged my comment off. "I love women," he said, "and I can't choose between them because I like them all!"
After barely two days of spending time with Mathias, I began to get annoyed. But more than that, I sensed a negative feeling in my gut about him and multiple red flags went up in my head. I brushed this aside however, especially as he hadn't done anything to make me not trust him.
On New Year's Eve, we went to a party hosted by members of the Couch Surfing community. They had a stunning apartment, complete with a gorgeous rooftop from where we had a great view of the city and New Year's fireworks. I couldn't help but think how kind and generous it was for them to open their beautiful home to a bunch of strangers, and once again exemplified how wonderful the Couch Surfing community is. A couple hours after midnight, I became tired and wanted to go home. Mathias, on the other hand, still had tons of energy and wanted to stay out later. So, I told him that I would leave the door unlocked and that he could come home whenever he wanted. He came back at around 6:00 A.M and promptly passed out on my floor. A few hours later, I received a call from the hostess of the party about him, with news that no host would ever want to hear about their guest. Apparently, after I had left, Mathias had made some inappropriate jokes about stealing someone's camera. The camera owner became paranoid and after these comments were made, kept his camera by his side for the rest of the night. However, he ended up passing out on the couch with his camera right next to him, and when he woke up it was no longer there. All signs pointed to Mathias: he had already made comments about stealing it, and he was also the last person to leave the party. I checked to see if the camera was in any of his bags, but there was nothing. So the only other place it could have been was his car, which was locked. The whole time, I was praying that it was just a simple misunderstanding and that they would find it in their apartment, but a sinking feeling in my stomach told me that it was probably Mathias. The hostess asked if she and the camera owner could come over and have a look through his car, which I happily obliged to. When I told Mathias what was going on, he laughed and said he couldn't believe that they were accusing him of this. "I was so awesome there," he proclaimed, "I totally made their party. Did you see me? I was helping out, talking to people, grilling food, serving drinks, and I even cleaned their kitchen after!"
An hour later, the party hosts and camera owner came by. Mathias let them look through the body of his car, but the trunk was left unopened. When they asked to look in the trunk, Mathias began to stall. He tried to distract them with stories about how he built his car, how his trunk for some reason would not open (when I had seen him open it the previous day), and that it might be broken. He continued this way for about an hour, when we finally decided to get the police involved. Then suddenly, he was magically able to open it and sure enough, the stolen camera, which was valued at about $800, was sitting inside. Needless to say, we had him arrested and the camera owner pressed charges. Another thing that went missing during Mathias's stay was my landlord's smartphone, which was never found.
The next day, after I thought this nightmare was over, I received texts from Mathias saying that while he was at the police station, someone broke into his car, let down two of his tires, and stole some of his things. He threatened multiple times to put me down as a suspect and proclaimed that "things just got serious". I had been very calm throughout this entire ordeal, but this sent me over the edge and I called the police again, crying. Fortunately, they were helpful and had Mathias stop contacting me all together.
I was a bit of a mess during the first few days of 2012. I felt on edge and paranoid, and had trouble sleeping for a couple of days; for some reason I expected him to come back and do something horrible to me. Mathias has tainted what was up until now, an excellent first month in Australia. It's almost even as if he cast a shadow over certain places in Melbourne. More than the fact that he stole and lied was how utterly violated I felt after the situation had passed. This man slept under the same roof and in the same room as me. His blatant disregard for how his actions affected other people left me feeling frightened. All I wanted to do was show someone else the same kindness that I have received through Couch Surfing, and not only did he disregard and disrespect the community of trust that is so heavily relied on, he hurt many people in the process. And the worst thing? He didn't even seem to care or feel any type of shame or guilt following this incident. I can't even begin to imagine how the hosts of the New Year's party felt, or the poor guy who had his expensive camera stolen.
After giving it much thought, I feel that Mathias displayed behavior characteristic of sociopaths:
- Superficial Charm
- Manipulative and Conning
- Grandiose Sense of Self
- Pathological Lying: I don't know if anything he told me was true. When I confronted him about the camera, he lied so well about not having not stolen it.
- Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
- Incapacity for Love: As shown by his multiple girlfriends
- Need for Stimulation: Living on the edge. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
- No concern for their impact on others. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
- Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity: Multiple girlfriends and boasting about his "conquests"
- Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility: $800 camera, smartphone, and who knows what else?
The chances that anyone would receive a guest as horrible as Mathias is slim, and I think I just had bad luck. As traumatizing as this experience was for me, I don't want to write off couch surfing completely. Like I said before, I have had some wonderful experiences couch surfing and will most likely continue to participate in the future. However, for the time being I will not accept guests to stay with me. This is mostly because of the small size of my living space, and after the whole Mathias fiasco I'm sure that my landlords won't be too keen on having any future guests. If I move into a bigger place later on, like say a share house, I would be more than happy to have couch surfers stay over. I love the idea behind couch surfing and still want to reciprocate the kindness that people have shown me. Plus, the chances that I get a lunatic next time are still pretty slim. I know people who have hosted dozens of times and never had a bad experience with their guests.
In the future, I will be much more careful and selective with who I accept. This whole ordeal has made me realize what little thought I give to my safety and how I need to exercise more caution in the future. I am very trusting and like to believe the best in people, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
The aftermath of Hurricane Mathias has been shaky, but is getting better each day. I still feel a bit nervous when I'm alone in my room, and become tense when I see someone who resembles him or a vehicle that resembles his car, but overall I'm doing okay, although I am surprised at the impact this whole situation has had on me. I've been lucky enough to be around a lot of kind people; my old hosts kept me company the day after the arrest, and distracted me with day at the beautiful St. Kilda beach and good company. They even let me spend the night with them again.
If you want to host couch surfers, it's important to take into consideration the number of friends and references a person has, as well as whether or not they have been verified. I have only been part of Couch Surfing since May, so my friends and references are limited, but I'm working on getting more by attending Couch Surfing events and meeting up with travelers for coffee. In February, I'm expecting to play tour guide to an American soldier who will be on a two week leave from Afghanistan. I am really looking forward to this and am eager to do more of the same thing with other couch surfers.
As for Mathias, he currently has three negative reviews on his profile to warn others about him, and once I get a copy of the police report, I will send it to Couch Surfing so that they may be able to remove his profile permanently.
